Question: I have been married for two years and share a healthy relationship with my husband. We love each other but unfortunately, he is unable to satisfy me sexually. I feel uncomfortable sharing this, but he cannot last longer. I do not want to hurt his ego by letting him know this bitter truth but I am sexually frustrated due to this. What should I do? Please help.
Response by Rachana Awatramani: Besides trust and open communication between partners, sexual satisfaction and healthy sexual relationship are also very important for a married couple. I understand that you are not sexually satisfied in your relationship and it can be a frustrating and difficult situation for you to deal with. I appreciate that you have shared your concerns here.
Many researches show that there is high correlation between sexual satisfaction and happy marriages. Another reason is communication. If you do not communicate with your partner openly and express your concerns, he would not know how to deal with it and in your case, he might not even know that you are not satisfied because you are not expressing it to him. You have mentioned that you both have a healthy relationship, which I think will help you to communicate with your partner easily and you can try expressing your sexual dissatisfaction. Sexual desires can be different for men and women, and you both can come to a common ground by talking with each other.
The ideal way of dealing with your concern is to speak to him directly and make efforts of trying new things in your sexual act to make it interesting and exciting for both of you. You can visit a sex counsellor for guidance. As you are already frustrated, not dealing with the problem might create unhealthy relationship between you and your partner.